From The Ken Socrates World News Organization Staff Information Pages, Circa 2012
Melma Frankengibson is a woman with a myriad of extraordinary talents and a lifetime of experience in all aspects of paranormal culture. She is, first and foremost, a powerful psychic with the uncanny ability to communicate with dead celebrities. As such, she has become the earthly representative for such deceased luminaries as Andy Kaufman, Toshiro Mifune, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and Billy Barty and is almost solely responsible for the recent popularity of the post-mortal entertainment industry. Among her other gifts is the ability to divine the future using nothing more than the unassembled pieces of a Mousetrap board game.
She was born January 3rd, 1948, in New South Wales, Australia to a large working-class family. Her father, Barney Frankengibson, was a frustrated stage magician who never gained any renown and was forced to raise goats to support his wife, Shandra, and their eleven children. It was at the family farm in the foothills of the Snowy Mountains that Melma first discovered her “gifts” as she learned she could communicate telepathically with animals. At age seven she helped organize a goat rebellion, freeing over two hundred goats from her father’s pens and letting them loose into the mountains. Shortly thereafter, the family sent her to attend boarding school with distant relatives near Dunfermline, Scotland where she spent the rest of her childhood.
It was there that she developed her many talents and soon became a local celebrity of sorts, regularly entertaining her co-workers at the cranberry juice bottling plant with after-hours tarot sessions, palm readings and hellishly intense one-on-one mind melds. When she was able to track down the missing daughter of the town nobleman, Lord Willard McNaughtonhose, using little more than the girl’s soiled prom dress, she was hailed as a visionary, regardless of the fact that the girl was actually located in Ibiza, shacking up with the family’s young, Greek riding instructor. Her career skyrocketed from that point, and she spent the next few years living in London, hosting a regular Sunday evening program on the BBC called Brain Samplers and intermittently assisting Scotland Yard on some of the most important cases in the bureau’s entire history. In 2007, after fourteen books, seven television series, three different feature films based on her life and countless lives saved, Melma “retired” from the public eye and moved to Western Massachusetts where, rumors persist, she secretly practiced her arts for a select, private clientele that included some of the most powerful, influential people in the modern world.
Many years later she is still viewed as the most respected paranormal talent that the industry has ever seen and continues to change the supernatural landscape of our culture. She is a tireless advocate for post-mortal rights, a constant ward against the dark forces of the netherworld and an ardent supporter of such charitable organizations as The Animal Consciousness Network, The Little People of America and The Rockin’ Donkey Experience. As Executive Supernatural Editor of our organization, she at last holds a position from which she can properly influence, guide and instruct the world’s ignorant population on the undeniable importance of the paranormal in all our lives.
She is also the owner of Wallace the Billy Goat, highly recognized by scientists and goat enthusiasts worldwide as the finest example of goat breeding and training on the face of the earth.
If There’s A Road… 